Being in a band is one of the most fulfilling ways to make music, but it comes with a crucial rule: leave your ego at the door. If you think you’re bigger and better than the rest of the group, do yourself (and everyone else) a favor—go solo. Stop wasting everyone’s time. A band is about collaboration, not a platform for you to assert dominance or prove you’re the next big thing.

On that note, don’t join a band if you’re not into the kind of music they’re playing. If you’re dreaming of turning a metal band into a country group or think you’ll slowly steer the ship in a different direction, you’re setting yourself and the band up for failure. It’s unfair and frustrating for everyone involved. Play the music you all agree on, or find a band that suits your taste.

Not every personality is going to mesh, and that’s okay. But if you can’t handle someone else’s quirks during practice or gigs, or you’re constantly butting heads, then the band dynamic isn’t for you. It’s about finding a way to make it work, or at least tolerating the differences to achieve something great together.

Here’s a personal story to drive the point home: I once joined a band through Craigslist. The ad was a mile long, written by a singer who claimed to have “the perfect formula” for how the band should run. He made it clear that we’d be playing only his handpicked songs, note-for-note, whether we liked them or not. I joined because, honestly, I was eager to get back into playing after some time off. In my head, I was thinking, This can’t be real—there has to be some room for creativity. Boy, was I wrong.

Two months in, we were practicing so-called “hit” songs that I had never even heard of, let alone thought were hits. The guy kept talking about how these songs were going to “make us big” or “get us the chicks.” I couldn’t have cared less about any of that. I’m 50 years old—I don’t need to “live the dream” or impress anyone. I just want to play music, have fun, whether it’s covers or original songs. Plus, I’m a bass player, so getting chicks is out of the question anyway. LOL

Long story short: know why you’re in the band, leave your ego behind, and be on the same page musically. If you’re just in it for the glory or to change the band’s course to fit your own agenda, you’re going to ruin the experience for everyone, including yourself. Don’t be a dick.